[Sign up for the emails here](https://vickygu.substack.com/) # 02.13.25 There is the performative type of grief like [Taylor Swift's](https://open.spotify.com/track/4q5YezDOIPcoLr8R81x9qy?si=cc9cb79e20744e22) *I can do it with a broken heart,* and the passively aggressive type like [Thom Yorke's](https://www.dazeddigital.com/music/article/15601/1/splitting-atoms-thom-yorke) *Fuck you, this is all I got,* and there is the type where you wake up and stare at the sun streaming through the blank space beside you and all you have to offer to your crowd of none or like ten at best is *here i am.* A meekness that feels anything but weak. # 02.06.25 Last night as I was going to sleep I jotted a line in my reminders app — _my_ _head is an anvil between two loaves of wonder bread —_ but I think I meant to say _my heart is a phone call called v2_v3-final_FINAL exported to the Blockbuster in heaven where everything beautiful returns after your rental period is up._ # 01.28.25 You walk through Chinatown these days and feel the burning red all around, get shoved down the narrow streets except for the man who gives you the beginning of a tender embrace as he moves your shoulders out of his way — strange man with energy neither New Yorker nor tourist — but no time to dwell because time to get flowers for Lunar New Year. The street vendor wraps your bird of paradise in newspaper and you see a headline about forest fires though it is not LA it is 贵州 Guizhou. Of course more US-China parallels.